North Platte WU
Newsletter Editors
7 p.m. Mar. 2
at Game and Fish Building
As you read this, it is only a few days until our third annual banquet on March 4. By all indications it will be bigger and better than the previous ones. Thousands of dollars of merchandise is showing up on a daily basis from our generous donors and supporters. We have some new games and auctions that will be different from previous banquets that should be fun for all.
From all reports it appears it is a sellout or will be by the time you read this. If you don't already have a ticket, hurry and call one of the directors listed below to see if any are still available. If you have any tickets left bring them to the club meeting this Thursday with the money for the sold tickets.
This months club meeting at the Game and Fish building will be kept a bit short as after the meeting we have a fish peeling job to do at the Parkway Plaza. We will need 10 to 15 people or more? to help remove the skin from the 500 lbs of walleye fillets for this weekends banquet.
Three months ago we voted to initiate a member appreciation program where we would put the names of every member into a hat and draw a name at each monthly meeting. If that member was present at the meeting he would win a $100 gift certificate from Sportsman Warehouse. We failed to remember the next month and I failed to mention it in this newsletter. At the last monthly meeting we got it right and drew our first name. The winning loser was Brandon Green, who wasn't at the meeting. Oh well, maybe next time. This will be done at every meeting and hope it encourages a few more folks to join in and become active in the decision making of club activities. For those who have never been to one of our meetings we try to have a fun little raffle at each one where we raffle off fishing tackle and gear.
We might be having a game and fish guy at our meeting in April to let us know what is going on with our local fisheries and the results of their netting surveys. I think the Glendo surveys will be quite surprising.
This is a reminder that we are having a "Pro Panel Seminar" on Friday, March 3, 2006 at the Parkway Plaza that is free to the public and we will giving away nice fishing tackle outfits to the first 200 kids aged 13 and under. Doors open at 6:00 PM and we will have demonstration tables going on with a question and answer session later in the evening.
Normally we would have elections at our March meeting, but because of the banquet we can try to have one at the April meeting. If anyone would like to be a director or other club official or know someone who does, come make a nomination at our meeting this week.
Memberships come due the end of March. Talk the wife into working a bit more.
Fishing Reports-Tips-& tricks
Stun gun .......
ONLY A GUY WOULD DO THIS.
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary. Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol &Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,. right?!!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best..... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad....I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-.. that hurt like heck!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return. -- Still in shock, Tommy
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
This was found on a public posting at walleyecentral.com I just had to share it with the members.
To see a video of what is thought to be the largest walleye being boated that was caught on film, go to www.crestliner.com and click on the link on the front page. And yes, it was released.
Here is some Bill Dance bloopers that are just hysterical: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZljVdZIllw
We should have open water again soon at Glendo. Vertical jigging with spoons should work. Minnows always seem to work, but some throw plastics right after iceout. I'm going to trying trolling early on as I have to justify the 30 pounds of cranks that followed me home this winter.
Boysen has good ice and is fishing well. Big crappies have been caught south of Badwater on the east side. One tip would be look for ice holes with a bit of color around them. Ice is over 15" thick and some are driving big heavy diesel pickups on the ice. Could be they just want to collect on their insurance?
Perch are still being caught at Boysen. Like always they will be where you find them. Minnows are the bait of choice.
We have applied for our Tough Man Tournament permit with the date being April 23rd., the week after Easter. Details will coming next month but it will mostly the same with a bit different pay- out. Will have to be a club member as like last year which enabled us to raise our membership by 55 new members at the last tournament. And it will still be 3 people in a boat allowed.
Thanks to sponsors:
I would like to acknowledge the sponsors and donors to this years Banquet:
White's Marine Center
Bar-D-Signs
Green's Sewer and Drain
Rocky Mountain Discount Sports
Armour's Silver Fox
Walter's Cement Construction, Inc.
Woodworkers Supply
Walmart
Dan's Meat
Food Source Lures
Ghost Town Canvas
Stenco Supply
Platte River Builders
Overhead Door Company
Wyoming Discount Grocery
Sportman's Warehouse
Kevin Reinhart
Cost Plus Appliance and Design Center
Western Walleye Magazine
Frabill Nets
Calcutta Tackle
JTL Contractors Supply
Walgreen's
Overman Realty
Crushco
G-Loomis Rods
Compression Leasing
Pheasant City Lodge
Big Wyoming GMC
A-1 Tire
White's Mountain Chevrolet
These are all I had by press time. Stop by and let them know you appreciate their support.
We also have fishing trips donated by:
John Marohn
Billy Brenton
Rick Walter
John Green
Kevin Reinhart
Some quotable quotes:
Three weeks after her wedding day, a woman calls her minister in hysterics. "Dave and I had the most dreadful fight, Reverend!" she wails. "What should I do?" "Calm down, my child," the minister said. "Even the most stable marriage has to have its first fight." "I know!" she replies. "But what am I going to do with the body?" "The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase." -- Yogi Berra
"I take a two hour nap, from one o'clock to four." -- Yogi Berra
"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally." -Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister
wyowalleyenewsletter@hotmail.com
Tight Lines -- Woody and Bruce